dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
