Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
pop tarts are not kleenex
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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