It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
