Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
