I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
