Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
this just has baby written all over it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
