You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
