You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
