But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
