They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
