If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's blow job season.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
