i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
