he wants to bone in the snuggie
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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