please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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