It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
