I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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