Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im holly from the hills drunk
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
