i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
