I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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