You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
