the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize