We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
