well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We need to rekindle our bromance
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize