Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
too bad you live with your parents still
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
