idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
