I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
