i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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