We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
