omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think my vagina is haunted
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
