dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
