Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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