I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
