he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
