I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
