I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
