i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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