How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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