She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I need moral support for this bender
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
