I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
