You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we made out on top of his cat.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
