I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
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Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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