We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
