...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
