Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
