I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
