why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
