Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I love you.
Bad choice
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
