Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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