i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We are all done wearing pants today
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
