Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
