so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
