Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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