she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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