well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
