woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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