Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
