I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
