He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
